Reflections from the day post big chop...
Well, last night after a haunting six or so hours of contemplation, I took the scissors to my bra strap length head of hair. Before getting to that point, I texted and called a few of my friends to ask their opinions on my plan to cut my hair off. Some thought I wasn't ready, most concluded that it was a major decision and I should probably take it step by step with a series of smaller cuts, and others just weren't sure if the cut would "fit" me. Well, neither was I. I was however grateful for the person that reminded me that cutting my hair would not take away from who I am. I spent hours on sites such as CurlyNikki and Naturally Curly looking at TWAs (teeny weeny afros) and hoping that I would see myself in one. As I prepared to make the first cut, I remembered that one of my friends had also done the big chop a while ago so I went back to the computer to look at her Facebook pics. It looked great on her... a little more encouragement... back to the bathroom mirror. The deal I made with myself was that I would start in the middle because if I changed my mind I could hide that section in my pony tail. And then I began cutting.
I fully expected tears after the first snip but the only thing that came to my mind was the time when I took a pair of scissors to the back of my head when I was a little girl out of frustration with it not "acting right" aka not staying in my ponytail (hide the scissors from your children people!). After the first cut I felt committed so I continued. The feeling of exhilaration was creeping up on me. A few minutes later it was time it was time for the final cut. Freedom! I stared at myself in the mirror, spiky hair everywhere, and saw.... me. I hurried to trim down my relaxed ends then jumped in the shower for the first wash. As soon as the water hit my strands, curls began to form underneath my fingers and I couldn't have been happier.
This morning I woke up, combed out my hair (which now reminded me of Coneheads) and began to figure out where I would go for a shape up and what products I would buy for styling. The salon I intended to go to was closed but a nearby barbershop was open. After assuring the barber that there was no oil in my hair, he agreed to do my cut and so began my first barber cut. After he was done, I was still in love with my TWA. I rushed off to Target and Sally's to buy hair gel and conditioner with a new pep in my step and a huge smile on my face. When I got home I washed again with Hair One, deep conditioned with Giovanni Deep Moisture and olive oil, added some Giovanni direct leave in, Olive Oil hair pudding and my hair oil mix (coconut oil, almond oil, Castor oil and Jojoba oil) and let it air dry. I had to go to class shortly after so I did my makeup for the debut. How did I feel? AMAZING! I love it! I felt free! And best of all, I no longer had to be a slave to my hair.
Stay tuned for part two.